Monica (templa_abaddon) wrote in seek_yourself,

An attempt to get the community moving...

Every male friend (including one homosexual man and a tomboyish female friend) that I have had in my adult life has admitted to having romantic feelings for me, being in love with me, or wanting to fuck me (my female friend). I don't know how to deal with all the attention and end up doing stupid stuff because of it.

Right now, I'm in a strange situation. A few months ago, an old friend of mine came back into my life after slipping in and out for the last couple of years. I was glad to have him around again, but didn't anticipate what was to come. Anyway, he was back and hanging around more than usual, and one day he just blurts out that he's in love with me and has been since high school. Since high school! Since freshman year. That's almost 8 years. Long story short, we began dating and eventually slept together. After we slept together, he assumed that we're a couple, so now he calls me babe and tells me he loves me all the time and I feel terrible because I can't say it back. I'm just not there yet. I do have feelings for him, but there is a lot about him that I just can't live with.

Anyway, my confession is that I'm involved with someone who is in love with me, but I can't say the same. And to make it worse, I've become very aware of this charm I have, and sometimes get acquainted with men and let them develop feelings for me purely for my amusement. People would be well advised to stay away from me. I'm becoming more and more detached from reality, and very often I'm not sure if I'm in my dream world or the real world. I confess that I'm either just really rotten or I'm just not fully sane anymore, or both.

I don't know what to do. I need guidance.
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